Keys To Accepting That Your Children Grow Up – Being Parents
You’ve been told a hundred times: “It is the law of life”, “You did it too”, “They have the right to think of themselves”… but you don’t want to accept it. Accepting that your children are growing up is not an easy task; however, you have to learn as time goes by and that they are more and more independent. In this article, we’ll give you some clues to overcome this step.
Assume that children grow up
If it were up to the parents, they would prefer their kids to always stay small, need them all the time, and their main issues being tying their shoelaces or having their favorite toy broken.
It is normal to be at some kind of “crossroads” whenever children learn something new or show independence. On the one hand, the happiness of success, but on the other hand, the sadness when we realize that they don’t need us as much as they did before.
First of all, we have to accept that the children are growing up. They stop being children and become adolescents, then adults. When this happens, it’s okay for them to leave the house, but don’t get carried away just yet.
The youthful stage of children can be quite problematic; the autonomy they have to do certain things combines with hormonal changes and the rebellion not to ask for help. It is the first “break” in the life of a parent.
A few years later, this child, still vulnerable for us, decides to go live alone, to get married or to go abroad. We can’t believe that time has passed so quickly! It seems that it was only yesterday that he was born, that he took his first steps or that he had his first day of school.
A “preventive” task
It is necessary to agree in advance that at some point the children will leave the house and form their own families. That doesn’t mean you have to think about it when they’re babies, but it does take some getting used to by adolescence.
So when the fact happens, we will already be ready. Of course, not completely, because we cannot, once again, avoid this crossroads between happiness and sadness.
We will be happy for them when they decide to leave the house, but we will also be anxious because they will not be with us all day. We are not going to lie, this is one of the most painful times for parents, an ordeal that must be overcome in the best possible way and a perfect situation to start thinking about us.
When it is assumed that children are growing up and leaving home, it is essential to learn how to fill this gap. Physically, with empty rooms, but also emotionally, with this feeling of “what am I going to do now” that comes over us.
As we have already mentioned, preparing for this moment can greatly reduce “empty nest syndrome”. Few parents are training for the moment their children leave home, because inside they hope that will never happen.
How to deal with this phase of life
We should not regard this step as something negative or painful, on the contrary. Ever since you had kids, you might not have asked for a weekend or even an afternoon on your own. Now you will have more free time!
Perhaps you were hoping that your kids would be more independent in taking a class, going on a trip, or visiting friends. The hour has come!
If you are in a relationship, you will appreciate this intimacy that you have missed for so long. Of course, it’s a job for two to assume that the kids are getting old and the house is empty. The first few months will be strange for you and you might feel a bit disoriented.
However, as they say, people are “animals of habit” and you will eventually accept that you have entered a new phase in your life. You can and should think about yourself, your tastes and your needs.
Your children are making their way and forging their own destiny, just like you did a few years ago. And beyond the mundane expression, you have to accept that “this is the law of life” and find the positive in this change.
