Having A Brother With Special Needs – Being Parents

Having a sibling with special needs should, in theory, not affect the daily life of the family. However, you are going to be forced to change some routines and establish others. Perhaps this is why you experience feelings and sensations that are difficult for others to understand.

How can the child feel?

You can have a lot of concerns and frustrations if you have a sibling with special needs. Here are some of the feelings you may experience:

Fear and anxiety

It can be difficult to understand why your brother is different. It’s okay, you have to realize it’s not a bad thing. Everyone is special for some reason.

On the other hand, fear can take hold of you due to the uncertainty of what the future holds. Also, you may be worried that your brother is having health complications and having to go to the hospital.

The feeling of guilt

You might even blame yourself for your brother’s illness. These feelings show up in early childhood and adulthood. Especially when you leave home and let your parents take care of him.

It is normal to follow your path and your independence. In no way does that mean that you love him less or that you are a bad brother or sister. Support him and extend your hand to him.

Feelings of isolation, loss of reference and loneliness

These feelings may be driven by your parents’ need for attention, as they have to spend almost all of their available time with your brother. It is important to find the right balance to spend time alone with them, every child is different and needs to be given time just for them.

Feel ashamed

Maybe you feel that your family is different from others because they have other activities or other routines. But it is not uncommon that two families are not identical! Do not be ashamed of your family because it is the greatest strength you have in life.

The same can happen if you feel embarrassed about having to answer questions from your classmates and the teachers at your brother’s school. Talk about it naturally.

Ripen before time

You will be forced to mature before the age in relation to the daily experiences at home. Perhaps the absence of a parent, frequent hospital admissions, or times of stress will make you put things in perspective in the future and react better to setbacks.

Having a Brother with Special Needs: What Can I Do About It?

The following tips will help you cope positively with the situation:

The role of parents

In general, the parents are absorbed by the child who needs special care. Sometimes it seems like they don’t want to take care of the other child. You can take advantage of the opportunities when your parents are dedicated to you.

Even if it is a short time, you have to understand that it is all due to different circumstances. They don’t do it with bad intentions. Maybe you will understand them better in the more or less distant future.

Communication: a positive aspect

Talk to your parents or someone you trust about how the situation is affecting you at home. Recognizing your doubts, fears, and feelings in front of them will help you feel better. In addition, they will know how to support you and you will come to a solution together.

Learn about the disease

Knowing everything about your brother or sister’s illness will help you better understand their condition and put yourself in their shoes. As you grow older you will be able to offer help more and more.

Spend time with your brother

You will see, this is a great thing for the whole family. Although you cannot do this directly with your brother, the fact that you are present will do him a lot of good.

Pay attention to decisions that affect him

If you are part of the decisions about your sibling, you will stay attentive and busy, and you will feel valued. Therefore, you will see that you are contributing positively to his well-being.

The positive aspects of having a sibling with special needs

Some therapists have shown that children with disabled siblings are not poorly adapted to society. It’s quite the opposite. There are many positive stories of people who value growing up with a brother with special needs.

This kept the family united and allowed them to develop particular qualities and virtues such as empathy, the ability to listen or even to have matured very early.

So if you have a brother with special needs, despite how difficult this circumstance can be, you have to maintain a positive attitude and realize that there is no problem. Each person is different!