Are You Ready To Be A Single Mom? – Being Parents
To have a child to raise her, to love her and to give her all that her heart can offer. Not having a spouse by her side should therefore not be a reason for not being a mother.
Adoption is a common alternative to becoming a single parent. And there is in vitro fertilization, assisted reproduction, surrogate mothers (in some parts of the world), which are other ways of being able to start motherhood (or fatherhood). It is important to research the best options for you, but before you decide if you are really ready to be a single mom, there are a number of questions you need to ask yourself so that you can be sure.
5 questions you need to ask yourself before you become a single mom
Why do you want to have a child?
A child should not be born because the father or mother needs love, and he or she has emotional deficiencies or emotional problems. The love of a child is not a substitute for the love of a father, mother, brother, companion or friend.
The job of fathers and mothers is to offer all the love that a child needs, without expecting anything in return… To be able to do this, it is necessary that before that you love yourself, and a lot.
Is your financial situation stable?
Raising a child costs money. And if someone tells you otherwise, that person is lying. It is essential to earn enough money to be able to support your new family.
It’s hard enough to economically support a family with two wages, so imagine how it can be with just one wage. Very often this is the real challenge. That is why it is absolutely necessary that you be sure that your monthly salary is sufficient to raise your child.
Do you have any support structures in your life?
You are definitely going to need some help, it’s not negotiable. You can’t do it all on your own, and you have to come to terms with it. Either way, you will need help, especially if you are adopting a newborn baby. And if he is taller, you will need him too… Because you will have to adapt to his new life. And if you do get pregnant through assisted reproduction techniques, you will also need a shoulder to lean on during difficult times.
If you don’t have a spouse, then you will need other support people in your life. People who are ready to lend a helping hand when you need it. It could be picking up the child from school, taking him to the doctor, or just looking after him for a few hours, when you need a break. On the other hand, having a support network is also essential so that your child always receives love and care, not just from you. It could be a grandparent, a friend, or anyone you care about.
What is important is that this trusted person can be available at 3 a.m. if there is an emergency. Or that she be able to give you a few hours of rest if you need to take a nap. Or go to the doctor and for some reason you can’t take your child with you. A support network that helps you in these times is essential.
Are you ready for your lifestyle to change forever?
Having a child changes your life forever. And your lifestyle will never be the same again. It will never be the same again, after this life which depends entirely on you comes into your home.
Your schedules will change, your social life will not be the same, your career will also have to change on certain things… Nothing will return to the way it was before. But if you really want to be a single mom, that won’t be important to you.
Have you done everything you wanted to do so far?
Have you achieved all the goals you wanted to achieve in your life, before starting this new step? If you have things you want to do or personal goals you want to achieve, then you will need to assess whether you have actually achieved them. Or if in the end, it doesn’t matter that much to you not to have reached them. Maybe if you want to have a specific experience before you become a single mom, you should. With a child it will be much more complicated.
