Communicate With Your Teenager Using Four Magic Words – Parenthood

Communicating with your teenager can be a bit tricky. When talking to your teenager, asking him what he intends to do with magic words instead of telling you what you think he should do will help open up a whole new world of communication and respect.

Communicating with teens can be difficult, but these four magic words, “What do you want to do” can open many doors.

Communicate with your teenager with four magic words: “What do you want to do?”

These four words can fix the relationship forever. Teens are old enough to know what to do, and they need your help in knowing how to deal with a situation. But they also want to be in control and they want to be able to choose between different alternatives.

The four magic words, “What do you want to do,” convey respect, as they impart responsibility to your child and help him develop good planning skills – four very powerful words, much more than you might expect. think. When you start using them, everything will change for the better between you.

You may be reluctant at first to think that your child is disorganized and that you should always remind them of their responsibilities. It is a good idea for him to learn from his mistakes.

In general, teens want to do things when they want to, not when you want to. There is no need to argue, they just need to know that there are deadlines to meet and that if they don’t, there will be consequences.

Besides using the four magic words, it is good to maintain other communication strategies. Thus, you can make sure that your relationship with your children is harmonious and that you can convey your messages more effectively.

Keep the conversation open with the four magic words

If you get your child on the defensive, he will hide the truth or lie because he doesn’t want to disappoint you, but he also wants to do what he thinks is best for him. It is important to maintain mutual respect in order to keep the lines of communication open at all times. If you want to stay calm in a conversation, follow these tips:

Empathy first and then consequences

Looking at the situation from your child’s point of view will help them make better decisions in the future.

The next time your child comes home with an unacceptable grade, for example, try saying something like, “ Give me a hug ”. “ Is there anything I can do to help? ”“ Is there anything we can do to improve the results? “.

Make time to communicate with your teenager

You don’t have to react immediately when you are angry or upset; give yourself time to calm down. In the heat of the moment, it’s normal to say, “ You didn’t set the table, even though you knew it was your responsibility. We will take care of that when I have had time to calm down ” .

Don’t yell and use the four magic words to communicate with your teenager

Respond with empathy first before presenting the consequences. In some conflicting circumstances, the natural reaction is to get angry, but anger simply expresses your feelings and lets them come out in a raw way. You don’t really communicate. You need to take a step back and see things from your child’s point of view. Tell him the four magic words.

Don’t reprimand

Scolding arises from the desire not to make mistakes. But childhood and adolescence are times of learning by trial and error. Keeping a messy bedroom, not studying for an exam, and forgetting to do chores are not life-threatening mistakes children can take for themselves.

The discomfort stresses you both and doesn’t teach you the value of taking your responsibilities more seriously. A reminder is enough. If you always say something to your kids, they will always expect you to do it. Remember something only once, and if they don’t comply, apply the consequences.

Do not solve the problems

Your job as a parent is to teach your child to make good decisions and to think independently. You don’t need to have all the answers, and you don’t need the right answers either.

You just have to start a conversation in the field. For example, you can say something like: “ Let me think about it and then we’ll see what we can do together ”. The most important thing is that your children can reason.

When you are about to disagree with your teenager, take the time to say how you are going to react before you react. Often the answer is crucial; find out how you would like to be treated and do the same. Also use the four magic words: “ What do you want to do? ”Or“ How do you go about it? “.