How To Say “no” To Children In A Positive Way? – Being Parents

By acting in a positive way and according to the opinions of experts in the field, better results are obtained in the little ones.

You probably spend days, evenings, and nights saying this inconvenient word.

And that doesn’t just tire you mentally: you also lose your patience and your level of frustration increases, to a point you never even suspected.

No matter how many times you repeat it, children seem to either not understand or want to understand what you are telling them.

Calm down! It’s completely natural. In fact, if you speak with other mothers and ask their advice, you will be able to see that this is happening in every household.

At the same time, many mothers notice that by constantly saying no to express a prohibition, children also begin to say “no” to everything. Absolutely everything.

This is why a better strategy is to use your authority but in a positive way.

Why say “no” in a positive way?

“Don’t get on the slide”, “don’t hit your brother”, “don’t run down the halls”. These types of expressions are very common during childhood.

Father and mother repeat them insistently, and we also hear them in schools, cultural centers or sports complexes that welcome our children.

A more appropriate way to give an order might be, for example:  “If you go up this slide by yourself, you could hurt yourself”  or  “watch out for your brother, otherwise he will never want to play with you again”. 

Many of you must be wondering what the difference is between these “simple euphemisms” and outright negation.

Well the difference is very big. When you repeat the word “no”, you are sending a negative message to the child.

It is not simply a question of adopting the opposite attitude, saying yes to everything. Far from there. We must constantly seek to protect the little one and set limits, but in a positive way.

In the course of raising a child, there should be a logical balance between yes and no when it comes to decisions, provided they are meaningful and not arbitrary. It is in this way that we will succeed in making children understand, little by little, that there are reasons for the standards proposed – and not imposed –.

Therefore, it is important to say “no” in a positive way. This will help the child to develop awareness and responsibility for his actions and their consequences.

The autonomy and independence of the child will also be strengthened and he will therefore have better self-esteem.

How to say “no” in a positive way?

If you want to achieve that much sought-after harmony in your home, here are some tips.

You will see how children will manage to explore their abilities and potential while avoiding the dreaded temper tantrums that knock us out of our hinges.

Start working on your language and exploring the different ways of communicating. Keep this harsh and excessive “no” for the most extreme cases and follow the tips below to ensure effective and positive rule implementation.

• Always find an alternative. The ideal is to give the child another option, instead of just canceling everything.
• Explain to him what could happen if he doesn’t change his attitude. The child must understand the consequences of his actions.
• Postpone his request. If, for example, your child wants to play with you while you are busy, explain to him that you cannot at the moment. Tell him you can later and of course stick to your pledge.
• Develop a house rule and the reasons for its implementation. Do not blindly ban candy or TV all day long: explain the reasons for this limitation so that the child understands and complies with these rules.

As you can see, saying “no” in a positive way is as easy as it gets. The secret lies in a change of attitude which, and it is logical, supposes more patience and the establishment of a functional communication to carry out our mission. Give it a try, you will be surprised!