The Keys To Better Understanding Your Partner – Being Parents

Life as a couple is not always easy, and neither is understanding your partner. In the midst of daily obligations and routines, it is not uncommon for communication to begin to falter and friction to arise. However, the situation can improve if there is real will on both sides. In this article, we share with you some keys to better understand your partner.

Our partner is the person with whom we share the most things. He is the one who knows us best and who reflects us most clearly. However, during certain periods of life together, arguments seem to increase for no apparent reason. But in reality, it happens because the two people disconnect from each other and stop understanding each other.

To understand your partner, first understand disconnection

You’ve always gotten along very well with your partner, with whom you share your tastes, hobbies and sense of humor. However, one day you find yourself constantly arguing with your spouse about the simplest things. You don’t remember when this dynamic started or why you got there, but you know you want it to end.

Do not worry about it. Social relations are moving phenomena which feed off each other. When communication is positive, there is an exchange of gratification between the two people, which encourages them to continue to act that way. Likewise, when communication begins to be negative, we enter, almost without realizing it, into a dynamic of blame and bad wording.

Inertia makes the ongoing communicative style self-sustaining and even intensifies. But why did we start this negative dynamic? Often times, we find ourselves there just because we are immersed in our daily worries and chores. Sometimes we are overwhelmed with work, children, domestic chores. We then unload our stress on the person closest to us.

The keys to better understanding your partner

Broaden your horizons

We often fall into the mistake of thinking that the way we see things is right. Based on our own interpretations of reality, we expect our partner to behave in a certain way. We raise expectations about what to do or say, and when those expectations aren’t met, we feel frustrated.

Let us try to remember that each person is a world. Indeed, what may be obvious to one may not be obvious to the other. It is important that we strive to be flexible in thinking and to be able to put ourselves in each other’s shoes. Don’t take your spouse’s intentions for granted. So give him a chance before judging.

The respect

If we want to have a harmonious and pleasant relationship, respect must be a fundamental pillar. Under no circumstances is it acceptable to attack the other physically or verbally. Indeed, it is not appropriate to say hurtful or demeaning words. Above all, he is our companion, and even in the most difficult situations, we must treat each other with respect and affection.

A respectful attitude makes it easier for others to open up. Let him share his concerns and feelings with you without fear of being reprimanded or rejected. The couple should be a safe place where both feel welcome. If there is no respect, it will be much more difficult to share intimate thoughts and deep reflections. And, also remember that without knowing each other, it is not possible to understand each other.

Assertiveness

Assertiveness is a really valuable tool, because it helps us not only to convey a message, but also to make sure that the other person has perceived what we mean. If we don’t use the right forms, the right words at the right time, our message can be misunderstood. A sincere request to spend more time together may sound like a reproach for the other. This could result in an outright shutdown of communication.

Let’s learn to express ourselves in a clear and reasoned way. Let’s try to convey what we feel and what we want without judging or berating the other. Indeed, assertiveness is a much more effective way to reach agreements. This way, we leave space for the other person to explain their point of view to us. In this way, it will allow to have a better understanding of the situation.

In conclusion, if you want to understand your partner better, you need to give them the opportunity to express their own views. You should respect their preferences and opinions, and therefore try to reach respectful agreements. Once the positive momentum is in place, it will be much easier to sustain it.