Why The Middle Child Is Unique – Being Parents

Does birth order influence the personality of the middle child?

The opinions of psychologists on this subject are very varied. Some speak of “middle child syndrome”. This is what is called a set of symptoms presented by children who occupy this place in the family.

Others deny that there are any differences and argue that middle children have behavioral manifestations. These are personal characteristics. Ways to position themselves in different situations that can also be adopted by the eldest child, the youngest child or even the only child. These characteristics are not due to being the middle child. They are due to his upbringing and the conditions in which he grew up.

One thing is certain, the place occupied by the middle child is special. We can understand that he is a little conditioned by the biggest, the first in the family, and the youngest, who will always be the smallest and, sometimes, the most spoiled.

What are the characteristics of the middle child?

• It is true that the middle child does not feel special because he is neither the first nor the last.
• He is never part of the same group of brothers.  In other words, it passes from one to the other. It depends on whether the parents say “the two biggest” or “the two smallest”.
• His place in the group of brothers and his relationship with them is truly special. He has the older brother to learn from his experiences and his younger brother to play with and be his guide.
• Depending on the family background and the age of their siblings, the middle child’s life can be the most difficult.  He can pass unnoticed between the problems of the older brother and the intensity and needs of the minor.

Daily situations that the middle child experiences

• He doesn’t feel as much pressure from his parents.
• The middle brother is usually not the center of attention.
• He often occupies the role of mediator between his brothers and sisters.
• At times, he feels like he goes unnoticed, because of his older brother’s abilities and his younger brother’s “antics”.
• The middle child may feel that his parents protect him less than the others.
• He must learn to defend himself and to be heard.
• He usually receives clothes and toys from the older brother. This may make him feel like he doesn’t deserve anything new. Or, we don’t buy anything for him. If this feeling continues, it can cause damage to his personality when he is older.

The skills of the middle child

All this allows the middle child to develop early skills. These will allow him to have excellent emotional control. This temperament can be essential for successful integration into adult life. Some of them are:

• That he knows how to fight to keep his place and be heard.
• He is a great mediator, because the conflicts between his brothers and sisters allowed him to train.
• He is independent when it comes to making decisions and going into action.
• He has an open mind and few prejudices.
• The middle child is able to negotiate and persuade others.
• He is a strategist when it comes to problem solving.
• He knows how to control his emotions.
• He has a great facility to adapt to different situations.

• The middle brother shares his things.
• He knows how amazing he is, even if no one tells him so.

Many leaders have taken the place of the middle child in the family. 52% of presidents of the United States have been middle children. Other influential figures such as Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Madonna and innovators like Bill Gates are also middle children.

The most important is the role that each brother plays in the family nucleus

The middle child is unique and his place among his brothers and sisters determines him to a large extent. But the education he receives at home is the fundamental factor in shaping his personality.

Parents need to be careful about the way they care for their children.  They must all offer them the same opportunities and nurture the talents of each individual, regardless of the order in which they are born. Balance is essential for everyone to feel equally loved. We must therefore devote the necessary time to each of them.